hey...i'm new to this forum, and kinda have a guy problem, hopefully you guys can help me out a bit! the story is pretty long, but i'll try keep it as short as possible!!

basically a year and a half ago i met two guys at the same time, who i really liked. one of them, sam, was reliable, sweet and kind, the "perfect" guy...BUT....he wasn't EXCITING, and wasn't good in bed....but he was just lovely, ya know? the other, james, was charismatic, older than me, SO exciting, and really good in bed. i started going out with them both at the same time, because i liked them both (i know, not a nice thing to do)....and after two months, james cheated on me...he pulled another girl.

i hardly blame him, since i was the CRAPPEST girlfriend ever - i never spent time with him because i was always with the other boyfriend, who i lived with, so saw a lot more often.

i thought i'd got away with the whole cheating thing, and was still going out with sam but seeing james as a friend and sleeping with him occasionally (even though he had this new girlfriend).

sam had always been suspicious of my relationship with james, and eventually read my diary, cause he was so suspicious. because of that, he found out about EVERYTHING that had gone on with james. sam didn't dump me but told me i could NEVER see james again. because we were friends, i also told james about the whole situation. he was hurt but remained my friend.

so now, i'm still with sam, but see james as a friend every now and then. james is still with the girl he cheated with me on, but she is going back to italy in september and so he has to split up with her - he's gonna be single again.

even though it was a year ago since we had a proper relationship, i can't stop thinking about james. he was just SO exciting to be with, and i'm infatuated with him. he admitted the other day that he still fancies me a lot, and that he was hurt that i was seeing someone else whilst i was with him...but then he's with another girl, so he can't like me that much!!!!

so in summary, sam is a lovely guy, and so reliable - but the sex is NOT good. james is exciting, so interesting, i think about him all the time, and the sex is GREAT. BUT....he's with another girl.

i really want to tell him that i'm crazy about him, but i'm scared that it'll ruin our friendship and he'll reject me. also, i'm scared of losing sam because he really looks after me and is just a great guy. but i can't stop thinking about james, even though it's been a YEAR!!!!!!! it's driving me crazy, and whenever me and james go out....we flirt like crazy too. i just can't stand this tension anymore, i've lived for a year thinking about this guy constantly and waiting for him to call me 24/7. i can't handle this tension anymore, i wanna get my feelings out in the open. but what if he freaks out if i tell him?!!!! arrrrrrgh!!!!! he's told me that he likes me, but i can't tell him....and if he really DOES like me, then why is he with someone else?? maybe because i am? or maybe because he's just messing me around :-(

sorry for rambling on guys, any help would be so appreciated, thank you!

nima xxxxx