Atticus - If THAT is being a man, then i would rather be a lesbian then a straight guy. Seriously. No woman worth dating needs a guy THAT manly.
The truth is, the guy described above is not that manly. Instead, he's driven and confident. If you could describe in more detail what parts of his definition of a man you disagree with we could have a much more interesting discussion.
- the truth that you dont want to face is that girls DO like guys who are nice. They often go for the confident guys in high school, but when it comes to marriage girls dont marry the confident jerk who only sleeps with them for fun.
First of all, if you ask any player whether his goal in life is to be a player until the day he dies then you will hear a resolute "No." For many of us this is a stage of life, we will enjoy our prime, but utlimately, I want a wife and I cannot imagine, under any circumstances, that I would cheat on her. Now, high school is not the only place where women go for the more confident men, in fact, in college, at work, a long time after high school, women are still attracted to more confident men. Also, lets clarify some definitions here.
A nice guy is a guy who is not truly nice, he's just afraid to be himself so he tries desperately to please people, he is very concerned with what others think of him, and he is unassertive in fear of hurting others.
A nice man is the guy who matches the article for the most part but he can still be tender, caring, and is faithful. Women like nice men, men who can control themselves yet have the few qualities that women deem commendable in nice guys. Nice men are not nice guys and women do not want nice guys. Every chick on this forum I've gotten into a drawn out argument with ended up agreeing with me that she was looking for a Nice Man, not a Nice Guy, and, in fact, I see affirmation of this every day.
- And there IS shame in your testorsterone. Our feminist society is right: it is violence, and in general masculininty that causes a lot of our problems. We need to make guys LESS like guys. Less barroom brawls, less wanting to sleep around, less anger. Only likeing a girl for her body IS shameful!
I disagree, what you are talking about is not masculinity, it is something primal. A nice man does not beat up his wife, get angered easily, or do barroom brawls. In fact, most of the people who get into barroom brawls are just frustrated idiots who have zero skill when it comes to dating. Furthermore, very few players like girls simply for their bodies. I've found myself physically attracted to women before and had them reciprocate this attraction only for me to NeXt them because they were not attractive to me mentally. Players do not like a girl simply because of her body, granted, some guys do, but those are the minority.
- I'll never be that kind of man, ever. I'll be the nice guy, as long as a live. I hope other guys do not see this. We need guys to be LESS angry and masculine and full of lust. No the other way around. In the olden days, men were not equals in their relationships, so being that manly fit. But today, with a spouce as an equal, men need to mellow down a bit to understand their wives feelings and be kind to them.
I agree with you, men need to be kind towards their wives, but should they be kind to the first girl who gives them any sign of affirmation? Nice guys do not fall in love with women because they are that amazing, they fall in love because THEY ARE DESPERATE. Read some of the love/obsession posts around here and you see that guys admit to love and maybe missing out on that one special girl when, in reality, you see very little evidence that would lead you to believe the girl is that special. This nice guy, however, sees a sign of interest on the girl's behalf and ends up obsessed. People need to understand the value of loving someone that passionately, not throw it at women hoping they'll reciprocate. I've had loving monogamous relationships and they were special because my partner was, not because I was desperate. And yes, in the olden days being manly made sense, but I don't see why the man described is incompatible today? I'd be interested to know what you consider overly manly about the definition given in the post above.
Cheers,
MVP |