stupid brain. got a bit of a guy problem. im a chick. got an awesome boyfriend. crazy about him and have been so for 2 and a half years. but havent seen him much recently for various reasons, and it really sucks. espeically cos of this.

recently started working at a new place (big deprtment store), and i really like one of the managers (young dude, only a few years older than me) cos hes a rad dude. lots of fun, funny and very cool. had a crush on him for about a week. got past that. now mainly just wanna get to know him better, wanna be friends cos hes one of the coolest people ive met in ages. but im still not sure if there is some lingering attraction or whatever. but i really like to be around him and messing about with him, laughing, pushing, shoving various insults and much sexual innuendo. funny as. its almost as if hes interested in me, but im highly doubtful. partly cos hes got a girlfriend he seems really into.

in addition , he's a dude i think would be a really good boyfriend. nice, but fun etc. he's also someone i'd **** if given the opportunity, if i didnt have a boyfriend that i love.

and im pretty picky....

god im retarded...need to stop thinking about this...

have to get my mind off him ( i think too much), gotta get past any attraction, cos i know its just a passing crush. but i also wanna be friends (outside work, kinda hard tho) but dunno how.

how am i gonna get myself outta this?