too late...too late.
I realized that I love him only when we parted...
How could I have been so impermeable...so terribly unpenetrable?!
I know...my own fault. Illusional, you know the whole thing.
Today it was his B-day...he turned 23. He invited me+some close friends(4 guys), and although he has a lot of really good female friends, he invited me. Even now, he keeps telling me how special I am. He shares everything first with me...he cares for me so much...he always takes me home although we don't go out anymore...we're great firends. Very close. I trust him infinitely...
After we were done with the food and the movie, we all went to play basketball...it was like 10pm then. Needless to say, it was pretty wet outside, and the ball got pretty dirty...
So we were playing basketball(we were both ever so flirty!), and he never misseda chance to touch me, or hold me close(as if for the game)...and I thought I'd die of the sudden passion which overwhelmed me towards him...
then, the ball suddenly hit my face(just a little), but my face got sorta dirty, and I stirred my cheek over his chest...
Now, I know that might sound really gross, but of course our hands were sorta dirty and wet from the ball...and he just wiped his hands over my face on purpose so that I would wipe my face over his chest...so I did. And for once throughout those two weeks we were standing so close almost hugging each other-me gently stirring my face against his chest...and I KNOW he liked it...he even told me afterwards
And what am I supposed to do now?..I love him- and I finally understood that I did. Not like all my other crushes...my heart is tearing apart, and I want to hold him close...that would be enough.
"too early seen unknow and known too late"....I was afraid of loving him when we were dating, and i realized that I love him only when we parted...isn't this ever so tragic?...