Blehhhhhh..... No contact was going fine until I tried to call her and her phone wasn't in service... Went into oh shit mode and went over to her house this morning to see what was up. Turns out she just forgot to pay her bill, BUT we did get into a conversation about us of course! Basically came down to me saying that I love her and want to give her space etc, but I did ask her to hang out. She said she'll call me when her phone gets turned back on today.

She said she's having a really rough time right now with the break up, she has lost lots of weight, sleep, etc and trying to keep herself busy I guess. The question came up about her loving me like she did before and at first she said no, then I don't know. It would seem that if she loved me any less she would not be having a hard time with this, I think she's just trying to figure out what she wants, I just hope breaking the no contact today didn't screw it up.

I asked her if she wanted me to take my stuff so shes not reminded of me and she said no. Maybe it's a good sign? Maybe it's not?

Well, hopefully when her phone is on, she calls and we can maybe go out tonight, guess i'll see, although i'm supposed to go to vegas with friends, i'd really rather try and work things out with her. And yes, show her why she should be with me.

P.S. One reason I don't think her love has changed for me, is because when we are together it's like normal. She crys when it comes to brass tax whether w ewill be together or not. She just seems really confused and maybe her emotions are all whack? She also started 2 new jobs recently and bills were piling up etc.

Seems to be a culmination of stress's ahve finally gotten to her. She went to a club last night, first time and said it sucked. She also went to a frat party (again first time) the other night and said it sucked.

I'm just sooo confused and hurt, sad, mad, depressed etc etc etc etc.... I really REALLY hope this works out, I'll ask this girl to marry me if it does.

She said she never knows what the future may hold and I keep hoping it's me with her.....