Originally Posted by artyemi
Crazy! Where did you get these stats? If that's what they are.
When I was 15, people used to tell me I look like I was thirty.
Now, I'm 20 something, with a son, and sometimes, people tell me I look like a goofy 20 year something.
When it comes to the 99.9% and .1% stat, that is actually just a generalization made by the jewelry store lady at work. In terms of real world statistics, an Oxford University sociology team looked across the EU (I think it was the EU) at divorce rates compared with myriad statistics. Anyhow, I was discussing this with that lady at work and in terms of age, where the woman is older than the man by 3 years or more, divorce rates shot up radically. In terms of those between 1-3 years older, divorce rates were the same with cases where the man was older by any amount.
It's funny because I keep hearing about how Asians are supposed to be the youngest looking on the planet (something in the genes) but when it comes to this situation, my folks do a damn good job of blowing it up to show how women age like crazy (this being in contrast to so many statements they make about how "young" Asian women look).
And as for shh!, thanks for the comment. I was considering the lifestyle differences from Vietnam to the US as a justification for what my folks were blabbering on about. In VN (and for most developing nations), it's not uncommon for women to be working in the fields all day or out in the market selling. Lots of sun exposure, lots of kids, poor health care, so it is more than plausible for women to age like crazy. Looking at my grandma, it is wildly apparent considering she is only 1 year older than my grandpa, whom is still looking like he is in his prime, exercising vigorously everyday while she herself can barely carry a small bag at the end of the day from work. But here, in the USA, good health care, decreased exposure to sun, different work and lifestyle in general .... I'm using that to justify a difference.
But you know, it is kind of ironic... lately, I noticed that A LOT of the girls that usually shop at our store started dating and all of their BF's look at least 10 years older than the girl. I myself am against that large of a difference.... it just looks so weird when the guy looks old enough to be the girl's dad. But then again, there's also the issue of culture.... all these girls here are Vietnamese or Chinese. There's also a culture thing at work.... it's especially tough since all my life I've really whole-heartedly accepted much of my culture (I'm a first generation Asian-American for my family) and I value keeping as much of it intact as possible.... but when it comes to throwing emotions into the mix, it becomes ever so difficult to balance what my heart wants versus what tradition dictates.
I actually had a talk with my gf last night and this afternoon. Last night she got frustrated at me because when we first began dating, she was the first person to bring up the issue of age. By that time though, I was confident, believed that age did not matter. But after my folks found out about the relationship, they drilled the issue of age into my brain hours on end.... that's the thing about Asian parents. They never get tired from lecturing and go on for hours and hours. It's never-ending.... and if anything, a breakup for me, would be caused by frustration from the lectures - not because I whole-heartedly buy into the age of issue as being a problem. But yeah, it is still kind of tough when I see so many examples of what my parents say will happen. My friend's mom is 5 years younger than her dad but her mom looks damn old.... but then again, culture and immigration play a part.
Anyhow, last night my gf told me not to talk to her until I made up my mind to continue with her or just to breakup. This afternoon I couldn't take it, and neither could she, so we met up and decided that to be together hurts already, but to be apart would hurt so much more.