Originally Posted by shh!
Everybody is motivated in part by self-interest. Why do you think people are religious? It is often because they have bought into the whole idea of some sort of punishment in the afterlife for which they are trying to avoid.
In the end, who cares what motivates good behavior, so long as it is good? We all benefit by it...
I think it matters a lot. In the fake nice guy case, sure, they can be some nice guy on the outside, but it all boils over after a while. The motivation for good behavior is very important. In many cases, yes, I agree with you. Business is the perfect example of this. Lower prices, even though the motivation is to make more profit. Who cares about the motivation when everyone pays less, right?
But I think when it comes to more personal and serious feelings the motivation does start to matter. Yeah, sure, so someone is really nice to me, but I find out it's because they want to use me for some reason. I care about that, of course! I'm not going to think, "Oh, who cares if s/he is using me... she puts on a good facade of treating me well so it's all good".
It's not to say that people aren't motivated by self-interest, and that it is bad. Some self-interest is natural or even healthy. As for others, it's very depreciative.
Just like anybody, I think nice guys do have a bit of self-interest. But I don't think they are that way BECAUSE of self-interest, or at least primarily for it. It is the ones who are nice for reasons of self-interest that are the ones RSK was talking about
: fake ones who are clever and try to use this to get what they want. Motivation for doing certain things really matters when it comes to situations like these.