You are questioning your life, which is always good, provided you don't let it take over your thoughts.

In my experience, becoming self-aware requires a lot of self discipline. Ppl don't seem aware of this part of it, in my opinion. It is well and good to question your life and what it means, but it is easy to get bogged down in this process in and of itself. Some ppl get stuck here and never "move on". They get "stuck in their own heads" so to speak.

My advice to you, Kiechi, is as old as the ages, really, but it presumably comes from the fact that MANY wise ppl have been through this very thing you are experiencing.

Recipe for dealing with life's problems:

1. Decide if an issue is something you can do something about. Only put your energy into those things. The rest will wait their turn.
2. Think about your problem enough that you come up with most likely outcomes for given courses of action. Prioritize those for what is best for you and then take action.
3. Remember to focus on what IS good about your life. It is NEVER all bad. But it is easy to psych oneself into thinking it is.

You are living in a place in the world where morale has taken a bit of a hit recently. Remember this and put it into perspective, Kiechi. Life is a gift, short and meant to be enjoyed. "Don't let the b*stards drag you down"...

There are others here who can add/modify these points, I'm sure. Hope this helps, Kiechi!