Why does he have anger and hurt inside? Is it due to you breaking up with him in 04 or due to some other issues?

When I broke up with him in '04 it was intentionally because of the jobs I had. In the midst of this some co-workers of mine and my cousin introduced me to someone who I didn't have an interest in until a few weeks later for only 2 days and I found out about the type of person he was which I didn't like. I felt bad for him and we had this valentine dinner which was supposed to be for my sister, her bf, my mom, my dad (they're divorced), my half-brother, and me. Since my mom at the last minute didn't like the idea that I invited my dad I had to tell my dad we canceled it (which I didn't) so that my mom would go and my uncle (her brother) would take his place instead. My mom thought my dad was still going so she declined to go. In place of my mom was my other cousin. So now it was just my sister, her bf, my cousin, and me. My bf was trying to get me to go out with him for valentines cause he said he made "plans" for us but when he used to say plans it meant to just go out somewhere, talk, then fight and having this valentines dinner with family was more important then to spend it fighting with someone. Just before we left I get a call from that guy that I "was" interested in (at this time I wasn't interested and he was just a friend). He didn't have family here and didn't have friends to hang out with that night so I was like okay whatever and invited him. Now that I think of it I should of just invited Jon instead but can't change the past. Anyways, we all went and just because it was valentine's day I guess my sister assumed this was my "new boyfriend". She wrote about the evening on a web-blog and Jon found it a few days later and he was pissed off about it. What happened that night was I guess this guy still liked me and at one point in the evening he kissed me. No tongue. Just "fish-lips" kind of kiss. I know when he kissed me the first thing that popped in my mind was Jon (Jon doesn't know this to this day and telling him wouldn't make a difference cause he'll think whatever he wants). Because Jon snooped around and found out through my sisters site (which he kept a close eye out to see what I was up to) he got upset and thought I had a new bf and that the reason I broke up with him was to be with this other guy. When we got back together shortly after he's had that thought burnt in his mind and heart. He said it felt like a million girls broke his heart just by one girl.


When I had access to his cell bill it was the time when everything was coming into one big puzzle of what happened. The incident happened 4 months ago when I finally had to find out the real truth of what happened. Both his cousin them and I are upset with him for lying to us and they said they didn't know but they are glad that I had found out inorder for them to find out. They were under the impression all that time he really didn't and they too were wondering how come he didn't answer his phone or he'd act weird around them. I don't look at his cell bill no more because like I said after all that was laid out on the table we are working on a new relationship and I'm trying to put it behind me and trust. The thought of another girls lips on his and him talking long hours on the phone with another girl eats at my heart ... but I'm sure that it was doing the same to him as well. I'm know I'm not going to do anything like that to him and I haven't since that last incident. been over a year and it's going to stay that way.

AS for the resolution part: We are trying at this one more time. If it doesn't work out then we both have to just be strong enough to walk away. I'm his first everything and he's my first everything except being my first bf. I'm scared of it happening again. The saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" is right. But is what I did back then concidered cheating? He said what I did is cheating because in his mind we were together. I know what he did was cheating because we never did break up during that time and if we did he never made it clear the way I did. confusing!