Hey jane its been a while
If you are going to ask for what you want out of this relationship then ask, becasue you dont want to go on not knowing. Not knowing imo is the worst. Tell him but please realize that you run a great risk with your heart love is a risk and he is a big red flag. Go into this knowing that the firendship you have built may be ruined and that your heart will indeed break. This man as great as he may be is emotionally unavailable to you and to any other woman he comes accross and by the sounds of it he wont be emotionally available anytime soon.

Tell him Jane.

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It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, a day to love someone - but it takes a lifetime to forget someone"

People change and forget to tell each other.