thank you, i will think alot of this over, i think you are very right though. thank you, you said alot of things i was already thinking, but yet couldn't put together in a productive way. venting also helped alot. i also realised that the traits i like in person #2 are all qualities my husband shares, i think that's why i felt so comfortable with him, he made me feel like my hasband was there. I feel much more confident i can put this right.