Originally Posted by Reverie
i find now i don't enjoy kissing him, making love feels like a chore, i don't really find him attractive anymore either. when we are together i feel akward and like conversation is forced.
OMG! OMG!! This sounds exactly what I went through!!! I divorced my bastard after he became a dark, unfunny, horrible human being. Its almost as if the act of marriage had put him into a depression!
Originally Posted by Reverie
about 1 year ago (6 months into problem #1) in a chat room for one of my hobbies i met someone, and we were only freindly for a very long time, but in the last 2 months i've been developing strong feelings for him, i spend 4/5 hours a day talking with him, i don't know if he feels the same about me. I am far more attracted to him than my husband, and we get along great.
OMG AGAIN! This happened to me also!! I ended up dating my new bf while I was separated from my bastard. We have been going strong now since Feb '04. *sigh* ....take it from me....dont ever ever settle for mediocre when you can have amazing!!!
Maybe you and your hub had something wonderful but you have already reached out by going online and developing a friendship with this new guy. If you and your husband cannot see eye to eye and you have tried to repair the damage with couples therapy and simply cannnot seem to reconcile, then move on and try the new guy. Life is short,,, dont waste it on a dull, lifeless, one-sided marriage.
Originally Posted by Reverie
I don't know what i am doing anymore, my husband does always seem happy to see me, and is always very needy(wants uber attention) while he is home.
Of course *he* is happy. He is happy because YOU SETTLED for his ways. If he is unwilling to make sacrifices to ensure a happy marriage then MOVE ON HONEY.
Originally Posted by Reverie
i have told him my frustrasions with the situation, and tried to help him find another job, but he won't, he just wants to 'make the best of the time we have', but i know that is not good enough for me.
Your conclusion in this sentence should tell you what to do.
Originally Posted by Reverie
i also wonder if the feelings i had would come back even if he did, and if those feelings come back will the new ones i have fade? i wonder if i should tell person #2 about my feelings, i am insecure, and fear rejection, but also what if he did return my feelings, what then? i still care for my husband and don't want to bring him pain. i feel like i am being pulled apart. I mostly needed to vent that, but advise would be welcomed.
You need to tell hub that you're NOT HAPPY with married life with him. At least give him a chance to fix things...if he doesnt then you know the answer. There are about 3 billion other men on the planet why settle for this one???
I too cared for my ex-hub but that too disappeared after I met Marc, my current bf. You quickly forget once someone new comes on the scene and showers you with attention, affection, good conversation, good sex, etc
One side note: dont wait until you're tempted to cheat....either separate or divorce your hub before you move on....it just causes headaches down the road...