yeah

i know i should feel happy--but in reality, i don't. she's very understanding of the problem, and i tell her that if i could change it, i really would. i'm trying very hard to do so, too. it's not a question of who is smarter than the other, we both know the answer to that, and it's not very relevant to the threat here. i just gotta figure out how to stop myself from feeling that way, i'll talk to my therapist about it.