Originally Posted by Prodigal
The only issue here is to decide how many chances and how much time to give him to change. If it's too short, you might realize that after you've left and it's too late that he was actually doing a great thing, much like Lloyd was inferring. If it's too long, you'll regret that you gave him such a big chance, and you 'wasted so much time' on him. But there is really no escaping that consequence... and in any case, it's a crappy one because they both lead to regret.
I wanted to give her the benefit of knowing what may lie ahead for her if she stays in a dull negative marriage. She will ultimately regret giving him alot of time to work out his job their finances, etc....I went through this exact same thing and missed out on *alot*.
My ex put me through unimaginable hell for 4 + years while he worked out his shit. It was not my goddamn fault he was terrible with money and ended up having a racist attitude towards most of the human population, but because I married the bastard I had to live with his idiotic, contemptible behaviour.
I just hope that for her sake her hub was not much like mine. I hope they can work things out, but the point I was making was, she would have regrets if she waited too long.
Originally Posted by Prodigal
As for the second part of Updraft's post, I'd say.. not necessarily. I guess if this person really is that 'right' person, then you may kinda forget about everyone else you've had.. regardless of whether this person showers you with attention or not.
Ok you got me on this one. I may have been transferring my feelings into this post and generalized but I feel if she is reaching out by turning to another man and to this forum for opinions, then it must be pretty bad. Her hub seems to disregard how she feels and if another man is making her take a second look at how things really are, then maybe she should ditch the union before she develops a depressive state of mind.