have no worry vanilla, im not a fighter.

there was more than one guy involved though. beating them up isnt a good intention, it only makes me just as bad as them, in her eyes. ive been in fights and they only make me feel worse.

preferrably i went and told the highschool principle when i arrived at school. i told him that i need to talk to him and he goes "about what?" and i go "i cant tell you now but ill come back when i put my guitar away" so i put the guitar away and found him in the hallway. he asked me what it was that i needed to talk about and i said once again that i cant talk about it now, and that i need to tell him somewhere that nobody will hear me. so we went to his office...

i sat at his desk, which felt like staring down a long road of nothing. i said "this is hard for me to explain to you" and i explained it to him as best i could. i did cry during the confession. when i started crying he said he was going to let me catch my breath and left the room. for the first time ever in my life i didnt feel guilty about crying. i felt more like a man instead of less, like usual. i thought about how it's gonna be for her, how all the kids will find out and tease her if those guys go and tell everybody. it was after that thought that he walked back in, with another person; the guidance counselor. i explained everything that i remembered that she told me.
when i walked into his office i was thinking that im not gonna tell them her name, until they said the only way they can help is if i tell them her name...so at the end i did tell them her name..

i missed all of my first class, but i believe i did the right thing. i hope my girl can see that too.

i felt a bit guilty as i saw her in the hall while on my way to english(right after telling them). she looked at me for a bit i gave a fast glance and noticed in peripheral vision she was staring at me.

4th hour came by which is when me and her have band together. i got out my guitar and stuff and by the time i sat on my amp, i had noticed she was nowhere in sight. i figured she was talking to them..
when i realized this, i felt a vibration inside me, a rock skewed across my emotionless pit. the vibration stirred up nausea from the emptiness inside. i felt sick at the snap of a finger. afraid that she might be thinking hateful thoughts toward me at that very second, while being questioned about something she wanted nobody to know, that she wished never happened. 15 minutes before class ended, she walked in, i watched her walk across the room. she didnt look at me once, not a glance. she must hate me now i thought. after, one of her friends asked me if i knew why she was in the guidance councelors office, immediately i knew must have been there all hour. i said i didnt know why, and her friend is like "well she said she wasnt gonna tell me" and i told her she shouldnt worry/ask about it.

at last period when i am walking down the stairs every day to my study hall, i usually see her while she is headed up to her lockers. today she didnt go that way. i felt incredibly worse..
but it wasnt until i went to the library that i realized her mother came and got her during school. i checked my email, and her mom had found out what happened to her. assuming that the school called her up and told her. her mother wrote me an email saying how much she loves me/appreciates what i did. and she said that my gf isnt really mad, she is more of dissappointed that she didnt explain to me what happened better. i have more confusion now. did i get the story wrong?

her mom also included that i should call at 7 because if i do my gf might tell me something important..but she also included that she talked to her about it, and she said she doesnt think she can call tonight... i understand this. im going to call anyway even if she doesnt wanna talk, i want to talk to her mom and ask her how my gf is feeling..who knows, maybe she will want to talk to me by then..

her mom also thinks that she will get over it soon if that is what i want too. the reason why i told is because i dont want that happening to any girl, ever. i am against that stuff. but mostly because i dont want to be with a girl who will put up with that stuff. thats like freeloading! im not talking in terms of property, but she is mine, no other guys can have her unless we decide to go our seperate ways! i understand it was forced, which is why i told the principal, who will have the teachers make sure that stuf doesnt happen.

this whole thing is making me feel sucky. i feel like i got pickpocketed; except in a more emotional sense.

this girl means everything to me, guys.

she needs some time to emotionally recover from all this, part of it is me telling the principal about it.. i mightve lost some of her trust by doing so...i dont know yet, i havent talked to her since she told me what happened.

this ****ed over my plans of seeing her on the weekend. im assuming she wont recover that fast. but this is more important. i just dont want her to hate my guts for this.