It just makes me wanna break down when I think about it.

Just starting this school year, I've really started talking to girls. But there is still this one girl that I cannot stop thinking about. She already admitted that she liked me (a month ago) but I didn't act on it. But that didn't change anything. Now she calls me her bestfriend (but we only talk like 3 times a week? including the 2 times we actually see each other). I'm starting to think that she does that so we don't drift apart. I dunno.

I swear I think she is confused as I am. There are days where we flirt like CRAZY, and any sane human would think we go out. She even likes me to kiss her hand. I mean, if we are going anywhere in a group, we'd walk together. If we're going to a class we'll sit together. Pretty obvious right? Wrong.

She has a boyfriend (OK that kills everything, i should stop worrying myself right?). But I mean, am I really suppose to think that I can't get with her if i asked her out? That she wouldn't leave him? It's not like she's married. I can careless about another man, I don't live for anyone else cept God, me and my loved ones. But I'm still hesitant. I don't know if I should go in for the kill. Is she really a bestfriend that I shouldn't try to give up? Or does this friendship seem better as a bf/gf relationship?

I guess I don't mind losing her as a friend since I really don't get that much contact with her like a normal bestfriend. But when we do talk, we talk like bestfriends, act like bestfriends. Bah. I don't know. I guess you don't have to be in contact w/ your best friend daily? I dunno, I haven't seen first one in like 5 years (hes' in Germany now). I'm scared to call her daily becuz then she'll get annoyed. I think. Maybe I should try. Bah

I know this is confusing. I just had to post it though. I think I've made my decision (go in for the kill), but maybe you guys can give me better advice. I don't mind giving more information, just ask for it.

I realized alot of things while posting this. And I know it is confusing and all. I'm just posting to get this off my mind, and get some advice at the same time