Mean what you say... and say what you mean.

Everytime.

That's the key to good communication. You cannot say what you think she wants to hear... and "allow her" to do the things you think she wants to do. And stop doing the things you think she doesnt want you to do.

Basically, you cant really change each other. In a good solid relationship, compromise is natural and easy.

Go back to the car meets. You should both have a life outside of your relationship with each other. No sense in trying to play games, using all of these things as pawns.

As for your insecurities - It's not really fair to put those on her. I liked the advice above... and why make yourself crazy when she's out without you? Trust is important. You should ask yourself if you dont trust her for a reason (something that has happened specifically)... or if you dont trust in general - and why?