Originally Posted by independent
As for sabotage... I dont see that (though I may be too close to it all to be objective). This last relationship, for example, I dont feel I was in the wrong in any way. I was lied to, mistreated, etc - so I broke it off. Am I missing something?
I think I am more often sabotaging myself (LOL) realizing now that I have (unintentionally) chose men (OR attracted men) that are much like my father.
I think what Hayward may have been referring to is that you may unintentionally or subconsciously assign some roles to men in your life, which are prone to failure and when that failure occurs it then becomes a method of distancing yourself and a reason to reinforce a view point of continuous mistreatment by male subjects.
But then again, I could be wrong, Hayward can be very abstract with concepts
By the way, you mentioned your father, what kind of a man was he?