Well, things aren't really going any better. He has come over a few times to visit , we have talked somewhat I guess. My heart fills with overwhelming joy to see him walk in the door, though I try not to show it, then when he leaves I am left sad, alone and empty once again. Today he said, "fine, you want me to move back and be miserable then I will." I want him here so badly, I am willing to do anything to make our family work. But I don't want it this way. Maybe if he comes back it will be ok, but what if not and I have to go through this all over again. Maybe if he comes back I will look at him differently and take off the love blinders and see what everyone else does. Maybe I am just crazy. How can I love someone so much that is hurting me this badly?????????