Hey Jamie!

How old are you!? You sound great! Finally someone who comes here who doesn't think the world will explode if they talk to the girl they like!

LoL anyways - yeah man I think that sounds pretty good if you deliver it right.. as in if you are sure to mean what you say and not make it sound TOO cheesy. I would leave off the last sentence, but that's just me - it seems too cheesy for me. Maybe somethin like "And if they haven't, be sure to let me know so I can make sure you get the message."

I dunno - that's just me!

Good luck!