I think you sound very lonely and depressed, so it is not surprising to me that you are considering any option which will allow you to connect to another human, and while I am not bothered by the fact that you are considering homosexuality, I am concerned by what is motivating your thought patterns. Have you considered talking to a professional about your issues? I think people make the best decisions when they come from a place of strength rather than weakness, and it looks to me like on some level you still view yourself as a victim.

Ultimately though, I think most people DO yearn for human connectedness, and if you find that with another person - male or female - more power to you.

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