Originally Posted by shh!
This will sound a bit harsh, so I apologize in advance.
You are both kids. This relationship was doomed from the start since most people do not end up marrying their childhood sweetheart. You are way, WAY too young to be thinking about a girl in a marital way regardless of how much "experience" you believe you have. Males are generally not ready for marriage until they are pushing 30, and even then, lots of them aren't ready.
Your college buddies are right to some extent. While I don't condone flagrant promiscuity, I do think you ought to be focusing more on your personal development and less on such intensity in a realtionship. It looks to me like you are trying to force a fit where one doesn't necessarily exist.
thanks for the advice, even though i've heard that same thing 100000 times from 100000 people. honestly though, i dont think i gave you nearly enough personal details about us and our history together. even so, you probably would have said that anyway. I know i sound ignorant when i claim to have as much experience as i do and i'm sure i can go on and on about how mature i am for my age and you'd still probably draw the same conclusion. fact is,regardless of statistics and all the facts and figures floating around, it doesnt matter how old you are. by the time you hit puberty, emotions are emotions and feelings are feelings. whether you've had enough experience to know one from the other may be in question, even though, i have, whether you believe i do or not. I can love someone just as much as somebody twice my age. i'm perfectly able to realize what this feeling is and how its affecting my daily life and how i feel when i'm with a person or not with a person. if there is greater love and i DO stick with this relationship forever, and never achieve this supposed "greater love" that exists, it doesnt matter because what i feel is all i know and if what i feel is perfection, then i couldnt possibly want or ask for anything more.
Originally Posted by Chlorine
*Cool off. Calm down. You need space. Distance from her. To think things through.
*You can't think when you're angry and you might say or do something you'll regret later.
*Give it 2 weeks. Than make a decision from there.
thanks. i know what you mean. i actually am quite the conversationalist and i've learned over the years that anger wont solve much. again, regardless of my age, i am mature enough to handle this like any other person can. in fact i drove home just a few hours ago and when my girlfriend gets out of school she's coming over and we're going to talk about it, like civilized adults. we're going to discuss every painful detail and talk about how we feel about one another and this other guy and see what we can do to try and smooth things out. she has always had problems communicating, ESPECIALLY during confrontation, so it's going to be difficult, but i'm going to be mature and completely supportive so that she feels comfortable telling me things. it'll hurt when she gives me every painful detail, but i will handle with respect and care and then think about it and respond. i'm not going to yell or be irrational. i'm going to straight up allow her to be honest with me. i only see her a couple days every 2 or 3 week and i want to know that i can trust her when i'm away at school. more or less i need to find out what her intentions were and how she feels about the situation now and what she wants to do to try and make things better between us. she knows itll be a long time before i can trust her again to any extent but i'm going to make it as easy as possible to open up and be honest.
i'll update tonight after her and i talk