Hey all....

I met this guy about a yr and a half ago....from yahoo. We hit it off instantly when we met and began dating. I felt so comfy with him.....and we would talk and talk and talk...and I felt we really connected. I lost my dad two yrs ago...and he lost his dad as well...around the same time. So its like we had that in common off the bat. He also treated me like a princess. He took me out to dinner.....would drop everything if I needed something from the store..etc. It was great....until....

He confessed to me he was using painkillers and opium... I was shocked... I tried to get him help...but he basically pushed me away and told me that I was too good for him etc....and that I should just let him be.... I was really hurt....but honestly what could I do?

Then about 6 months later.....after talking a few times inbetween.....he asked me if I wanted to hang out. He told me how he went thru rehab and got off of the drugs.etc. I was really happy for him....so we hung out etc...as friends.....but then he kissed me. We started going out not long after that......and well.......it didn't go so well. He confessed he relapsed and he was still on the painkillers.... I just told him he needed to get help once again....etc. Then he ignored me for like a week. I was like wtf? SO I emailed him and asked him what was up. He still ignored me. So finally I just told him that I wanted to end things....and that maybe we would just be better off as friends. He then writes me and tells me that he just doesnt find me attractive physically....etc. I was like both shocked and hurt by this. So I basically told him to fvck off..and that was that.

To the present....a few weeks ago...he found me on myspace and emailed me. He apolgized over and over again.....for everything he put me thru...and he told me he moved up north to be by his family....and that he has been clean for 4 months. I was happy to hear this....but kept things kinda vague in my email....when I replied back. Then he wrote me again and told me he wants to move back to the city(by me) and try finding a job down here and live down here. He also made it very clear he wants to try to see if it could work between us. He told me he just can't stop thinking of me....and he really misses me. He said I had one of the best personalities that he has ever seen in a person.....and thats what makes it hard to forget me.

I mean I was very flattered by this.....but I told him that we should just be friends and just wait and see. I also told him not to make any decisions based only on trying to be with me....(in case things dont work out). I also brought up the fact that he said he didnt find me physically attractive.... He apolgized for that once again and told me......that I can think what I want....but he "likes me alot" and misses me alot. He also told me that its up to me whether I wanted him to leave me alone. He told me the last thing he wants to do is hurt me again.

I don't know what I should do... I mean.....I still do have feelings...and I believe he is being sincere. But I don't want to jump into something and then have him change his mind. I mean should I just shut him out? Should I just be his friend and see what happens? Or should I just go for it?

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Appreciate the good times and learn from the bad times....