I understand Clynn, but I feel like I've really screwed up because now the ex knows that I'm still hung up about her and that I haven't moved on. And I've lost the friend too - she wanted nothing from me and I had to go and complicate things by saying all this feelings stuff: like I need time, that I have a closed heart, that I can't give anything more, but that I do want more bla bla bla..

One thing I haven't mentionned thats really weird. While we were talking,the ex called. Really weird. I didn't answer. It seems like more than a coincedence that she would call right then,after months of nothing. The friend knew that I wanted to talk with her that day and she thought it was about dumping her.

The ex didn't leave a message. I thought of calling the friend the next day maybe to ask if the ex was trying to reach her last night? Her phone had a weird message as if it had been disconnected! Never before have I got that message. So I called the ex. I left a message saying.. "Hi how are you - its been a long time. I was too busy last night to get your call, but feel free to call back. Anyways if you see (the friend) please let her know that she can call me if she wants to." That message was last night. Still the friend's phone is buggered up and I haven't heard from either one.

I think my message was a good thing. But the ex's call? What was that all about!