I don't know the subtleties of legal definitions, but what happened to you falls somewhere between abuse and rape. It truly saddens me that you experienced that and I hope you've enjoyed fulfilling and pleasurable relationships since then.

For the record - I was 23. So was she. We exchanged virginities (I gave her mine and got hers in return) on our wedding night. It was some of the lousiest sex we had over the last 30 years - and it was also one of the most significant and meaningful events. You may read about it here: Wedding Night Virgins.