I guess... I may own up and say this isn't just out of interest but rather my ex cheated on me... we were together for 4 and a half years.

I think she can be trusted. It was partly my fault. In fact, I will explain why I think this and most of you will probably think I deserved it.

The part that I find hard is not the trust. I am sure there will be less trust but I know I can still trust her. The problems are:
She cheated, and got pregnant now she has someone elses kid. I don't want kids and it seems by going back I will be taking her bagage, which doesn't seem to be my responsibility.
The other problem is, just knowing that she did it. How can I ever have sex with her knowing some other guy has done it and cumed inside her while I was with her? Knowing other guys had been with her before me was bad enough, but obviously that wasn't a reason to break up, but knowing she did it while with me it's different.


Now, the story...
I live in Australia, but I am not Australian and I visit my parents at the end of each year for a bit over 2 months.
Now, we normally lived together, but she went to her moms place while I was away and when I got back we would find a place to live together again. In 2005 however I came back, stayed with her at her moms place for 2 weeks then moved out without her. As bad as this sounds I had some very valid reasons (she didn't cheat, just other reasons) and I think most people would do the same in my situation.

Now, I didn't really see her after that, I sms'd her but didn't really have much contact with her, and at times I would not see her for up to 2 months. Of course, I told her, and this is true, that I had car problems and it was hard for me to get around, not to mention I moved into my friends house that him and her never got along, so even though every now and then she would come over and stay over, I felt uncomfortable bringing her into my friends house, out of respect to him. He would let me use his car but again I didn't want to keep borrowing his car when they didn't get along.

Also, she did tell me someone was interested in her and if I don't start showing her more attention and love she would be with them. But, I didn't believe this, I thought she was trying to get me jealous. I could not believe that she would ever do that to me, no matter what.
But she did. She got pregnant, and she moved in with him. She lives with him now but keeps telling me how much she loves me, how no one compares to me, how all she wants is me, and she doesn't know why she did it, it was the biggest mistake of her life. At the same time, she's told me before she needed to be loved and feel special.


Now, I guess I took her for granted. But I trusted her very much. When I saw her pregnant she told me she was going to be a sarrogant mother for a couple who couldn't have children of their own. I trusted her so much that I believed her, and we remained together, until she had the baby (about 6 weeks ago) at which point I thought I may as well ask for the IVF papers, and the clinic papers. But she couldn't produce them. She couldn't even tell me where this IVF Clinic was. So I told her, without those papers I will assume she cheated and we would break up anyway, so to just be honest. She ended up admitting what she did.



I don't really want people to think I am a dickhead who treated her bad. Like I mentioned there were good reasons for not living with her, and for how I acted. Other than that I have always been nice to her, always did everything for her, never touched her, or anything. I never even really raised my voice in arguements or anything.


But this is my story. And I don't know what to do. I love her, and want her, and she does me too, but she has someone elses kid, and she cheated.

Am I just attatched to her, and can't let go? Or is it, that what we had was trully special. It seemed that way...