hey, i'm back
sorry, college got on top of me, figuratively..
Originally Posted by daletom
Please be careful - physically and emotionally - with that experimentation!
how do you mean? I meant, I'm going to do more heavy petting before I 'go for it'.
Originally Posted by daletom
(have you actually read Heller's novel?)
no.. and worse still, I didn't know there was a novel.
Originally Posted by daletom
Physiologically it's probably most likely to be pleasureable if it "just happens" with an observant and caring partner who can tell when the right time is at hand. Mentally and emotionally it's probably more meaningful when both parties are certain they're ready, and prepare accordingly.
hm, I hadn't thought of it that way. Me and my boyfriend are definitely planning types. Maybe too much so. Is it possible to plan and prepare, but let the exact date/time/place happen? I'm not too worried about it. If I had to choose I'd go for emotional meaningfulness over physical pleasure any day.
Originally Posted by daletom
It was something we added to an already established commitment. So if it's not absolutely perfect for you - where will that leave you? At the start of a great adventure, or amid the ruins of the biggest disappointment of your life?
very good point. I consider myself pretty mature. Yes.. I acknowledge that there is an element to it in my head that says, if I don't 'put out' eventually he'll get tired of waiting for me. I know that's not why I want to have sex with him though, and not something you should build a relationship on.
Originally Posted by daletom
But that's the primary message that guys hear. It comes down to something like, "If you do it right she'll have a mattress-thrashing, scream-into-the-pillow orgasm and be your devoted bed partner forever. If you mess up she'll be sleeping with your arch rival tomorrow and the rest of your life will be miserable because you ruined your one chance at the only person you could ever love."
hm.. I see. strange how it defies logic. It's a tricky situation. I don't want it to sound like i'm telling him "I don't expect much from you" in a bad way. I just don't expect anybody to instinctively know how to give my unique body pleasure when I can't figure it out myself.
Originally Posted by daletom
If it's actually a new question or a different topic, please start a new thread. If it pertains to THIS thread, find this thread and post in it.
ok, that makes sense
thanks for re-locating tip too.