Thanks for your replies everyone, yeah I felt really bad that I messed up with that girl Courtney, she really was wonderful, or maybe I am kidding myself and there's no point in even thinking that way, might only cause more lonely feelings. Yeah Kaitlyn is actually married, she met another guy maybe a few months after that and seems to be somewhat happy and she's actually appreciative we broke it off because then she wouldn't have met her current husband. Oh well hey? As someone once said "It is better to have loved and then lost, than to never have loved at all." (not sure who) Yeah I need to have a real relationship, thanks for being real with me too friends.