matt, to put it the nicest possible way, Build a bridge and get over it. You are diggin yourself an increasingly deeper hole which you will find harder and harder to get out of once you open your eyes to reality. what reality? the reality that she is nothing but another person with a vagina and that there are tons of other persons with vaginas out there who have a lot in common with you. grow some balls and show her and yourself that she is not worth it.

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..the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except the best ..

-- Henry Van Dyke