Let me see if I can work you out.


Emotion. You don't want it but you do. You find "feelings" and "emotions" in general get in the way and cause unecessarily commotion. However, whilst you try and devoid yourself of emotion there come times (normally times when you are by yourself or feeling lonely) when you do want to "feel". Then a struggle forms. You start to question whether ignoring what you feel is the right thing to do (you know bottling things up aren't, but you continue to do so). Because of your stance on Emotion you go online to seek some sort of "connection" maybe or simply just someone who will lend an ear. But not someone you know personally as you might be afraid of what they think, as you find showing "emotion" or feelings in general "pussy-ish". The reason why you think this way is maybe due to your relationship with your parents whilst you were younger. You felt as if you were neglected, ignored, not given the proper emotional support you deserved. You post online something regarding how you feel. Then you wake up and re-read over what you posted and feel "embarrased" by what you have said... and the cycle continues.

But despite all that you find yourself maybe subconciously looking for someone YOU can talk to about how you feel, about your emotions without the fear of ridicule. Most likely a partner.

I'm right huhhuhuhuh? Because thats me in a nutshell.