Illusional... I think something inside me wants to move away from my bf.. which is most likely why I needed to slow things down- to push him away. I think I may want him gone completely...

sfalexi- I know that I wouldn't cheat on him. I wouldn't give in. I know I wouldn't. Sure, I'm tempted but just because there's a temptation doesn't mean I won't ignore it. And i know myself (most days anyway) and I know I wouldn't do that.

But this guy's my friend... I wish I could just stop talking to him... but it isn't that simple. And I liked him before my bf and I even got together and I'm thinking I've made a big mistake. My boyfriend is out of town and he trusts me and I wouldn't cheat on him ever- under no circumstances.... but I feel that I'm being disloyal to him by talking to this guy. I know I'm not doing anything WRONG, but, I feel bad about it.. I wish someone could jump into my brain and figure this out with me... I don't know exactly how I'm feeling to be able to act on it... And when I DO figure out what I'm feeling.. it changes.... I'm royaly screwed.

__________________

-Tania