I just said that comment cause I was a little miffed. Hey, she needs to know that I can be ok with things but I don't have to be happy about them! She knows i'm being safe, heck i've done more research into being safe then her! If I didn't say anything, she'd think it would be cool to have sex and not realize that she COULD get pregnant.

I'm totally fine with waiting, but this whole things feels strange. First she's cool with sex, then we wait while she's injured/sick/hormonal. Now she's fine but she's afraid? She doesn't even want to do OTHER fun things in the mean time because I we can't "do it" afterwords. (which goes back to the "can't enjoy other things unless sex follows or else she feels it's a tease and gets pissed" issue)

I'm really not being a jerk but she's been very uncommunicative. It's only when I bring it up will she break down and talk about it but she doesn't WILLINGLY talk about her concerns. One reason is she doesn't want me to get upset at her for talking about her problems and bringing me down. I told her that I WANT to hear her concerns and be able to have that communication. It feels all very immature at times.

I have a friend who is a relationship expert who said this to me about my current situation.

"Hi Bono,

Interesting... as you know, there are a lot of physical factors here,
esp. with the pill and the ring.

I suspect that she feels she's being bounced between all these factors,
and the fact that you and
she haven't had sex is making her think you don't REALLY want sex.
("He's suggesting sex to
be nice, and to keep me from feeling bad--but actually, he's tired of
me!")

Basically, I'd

a) be explicit and and insistent about wanting sex, even to the point
of
irritating her (expect the irritation to be temporary, though, and to
turn to relief later)
b) assume that, in any case, her body, and therefore her moods, will be
unusually wacky for at least another week (though, as you know, they're
always going to be somewhat wacky)
c) only become suspicious if, after two weeks, she continues to be
strange and not want sex--in that case, there may well be something
going on behind your back
d) if, after a week or two, she's still strange--confront her, and tell
her her behavior isn't good enough, and tell her EXPLICITLY how you
want
her to behave"

I do value what he says and I really feel that if she continues to act this way (while confessing her love and happiness) then something is seriously amiss. But i'm willing to give it some time. I don't need to go anywhere right now with bugging her for sex. I actually haven't been because we BOTH have been asking each other for it. It's just thanks to misscommunication, it hasn't happend.
Like Saturday: How does "I have a headache, I feel sick, I don't know if I want to see a movie." translate to "I want to go to your place and have sex"? Well, in her mind it did and she HOPED I realized that but instead we went to see a movie when I asked her if she wanted to or not. I never said "I'm going to be mad and hate you if you want to change plans and go have sex instead." I mean, come on now. :-) That would've been great to do instead of a movie. All she had to do was ASK. Not expect i'm psychic as women like to thing men are at times. (or maybe it's their own secret language they forget we're not all fluent in.)

I'm trying to be flexible with her, but all she has to do is communicate her feelings and I won't piss her off. (but she actually DOES like to get pissed off at times. She likes her buttons to be pressed by me, but the right ones. Today I hit the wrong one I think...)

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