To put this a little more clearly - this site we are all on right now, loveforum.net, it is its own world - we all jack into here and communicate with others - its not direct chat like my world is - but this is the same principal - you jack in and do your thing and then you jack out.

My problem is that I never jack out of my world I go there and I will stay for hours and hours - the only time i ever get off is to work, eat, feed my son, and sleep - but even while doing all those other things i am not totally jacked out because I am constantly thinking about things that need to be done in there.

Me being jacked in has ruined a few of my relationships in the past. I know this and have come to accept this. But now I want a relationship - and I am not going to let any matrix get in the way of that - But I seem to have a problem - I am addicted. it has become a drug for me - Last week I tried to unplug and it lasted only 1 day - after that I was righ back on it exactly where I was before. Hell - I even tried to unplug from this world - iyou all remember me saying goodbye like 3 weeks ago - I was gone for what - 4, maybe 5 days ? Then I am back just as much as I was befor e- like nothin ever happened.

This dream world has caused me to loose friends, relationships, and just about anything one could have in the real world - self confidence for example... I cant do the things here tha I can in my world - that makes me feel weak when I am in the real world - and it shows...

I dont know why I am posting this - I really am not asking for advice or anything - I am just stating how I am - I know how I have to change - I just have to truely want to change - then I will do it - I guess the time is not right now - Everything happens for a reason - Maybe I cant unplug because I am meant to be jacked in to do something here that I dont know yet - One day I will know my purpose - I just hope its not too late when I figure it out.

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Yeah... That's right.

-Billy