He bought his date's *prom dress*?? The reason your friend is picked on is because people think he has no backbone.

I am going to tell you about my kid, which is something I very rarely discuss.

My son - when he started 7th grade - went through crap like this all throughout the year, even the stupid oven jokes (we are Jewish, too, living in an area with very few Jews). He didn't tell me about it until about 2 weeks before the end of the school year because he knew it would kill me, and when he finally DID tell me, it was only because he didn't want to be re-enrolled for 8th grade.

Long story short, I gave my son permission to beat the ringleader's ass. He never had to do it, though, because after asserting himself verbally and making it known he was prepared to fight, the other boy backed down, and the rest of that kid's buddies did, too.

I used a dog analogy with my kid. We all know he is sweet like a puppy dog, but when he goes out into the world, he needs to *look* more like a bulldog. I told him he might have to fight once or twice, but even if he didn't "win" the fight, the kids would move onto a softer target.

You don't mention how old you are, but your friend may have waited too long for this to work for him. I don't think you help him to grow into manhood by fighting his battles for him, however. I think you should just encourage him to act like a man, even if he has to fake it for a while until he grows into it. He needs to feel okay with expressing appropriate anger, even if it is only done verbally. Maybe you can give him some tips on how to react when someone says something mean. Try role playing, or something. It really helps, especially if you do it a lot.

Also, tell him this for me: NEVER invite a girl you haven't dated before to a prom. If he wants to get to know a girl better, tell him to ask her to homecoming. First dates should NEVER be expensive, he should NEVER buy a girl a dress for a date, and renting a limo should be done with a *group* of kids, and only then for a girl you have been dating a while.

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