Oh, Jesus...
Originally Posted by
IndiReloaded 
Are you still in contact with this girl, then? Friends, perhaps?
We exchanged 5 e-mails this summer. Haven't talked to her since then.
Originally Posted by
IndiReloaded T
I wonder how you would feel if you found out that you caught something from Blondie that you passed on to your ex, who passed it on to *her* SO. I hope you care enough to rule out that possibility.
I'm clean.
Originally Posted by
IndiReloaded
You say you aren't disclosing to protect her. But she's an adult able to make her own decisions about things, surely?
I never said anything about "protecting" her. I said that no good would come out of it. If I told her, she STILL would have no choice in the matter. She can't choose to unknow it.
Originally Posted by
IndiReloaded And, despite how you say 'you don't want her to feel bad about men who cheat, break trust, etc.', you *are* giving her a skewed reality about what actually happened. Which, IMO, is worse than the truth.
I think you just hate cheaters. More power to you. I hate that I did it. Nothing good is going to come of me telling her. Period. Sometimes issues aren't as black and white as you want to make them.
Originally Posted by
IndiReloaded As you may have figured out by now, I believe in complete transparency in close *adult* relationships. I wonder that you wouldn't simply tell her there was something bad that happened during your relationship and should she want to know more you would tell her. Puts the decision firmly in *her* court then to know or not.
Well, that would be an odd thing to bring up after two months of not talking after 4 years of not talking, but seriously, I think you're just so caught up in the "truth about everything else" that you're not even looking at the situation. Even with THAT statement, if she says no (which, who in their right mind would? Curiosity would always win), she'd always know there was something more wrong with her only sane relationship. Awesome.
Originally Posted by
IndiReloaded
I don't think its at all noble what you are doing, sorry. But whatever helps you deal, its your karma. Good luck with it.
I never said it was noble. It's just the best I have right now.
Helps me deal? LOL. I've clearly been agonized by this for SEVEN years. Good lord. My karma's just fine, thank you. I've made one major mistake in my life. I've had to make some sort of peace with that. Other than that, though, you don't know a thing about me. Judging me based on one mistake, no matter how big it is, is insane.
I'm glad you're better than this. I am. One less person cheating in this stupid world is absolutely fantastic. Good for you.
Please stop rubbing my nose in it because you feel morally superior. Thanks in advance.