Wow this like sums up how I feel about things also. I also lost a person I love. I still want to love I am not afraid or still stuck on anything. But seriously. It is so hard to find the potential lover. From what I have experienced it's hard to come across. I too have a problem at where to look. Usually though I randomly stumble into a relationship then have to look back and be like. Whoa how did I just get here.