I just want to say one other thing. Some of you guys know Ive been a single parent until last year when I got married. Kyles father had nothing to do with him. That still hurts him. So all of these years my family and myself have overcompensated. Now Im paying for it. Here all along I truly have felt Ive done the best thing for him or at least tried. I feel like a failure as a mom because he's made the decisions he's made and Ive contributed to it, I admit it. But he's old enough and has been taught right from wrong. Ive talked to so many parents and single parents, and have found that you can do EVERYTHING for your child you believe is the best, and raise them with every ounce of love and the minute they turn 18 it seems like everything you've spent those 18 yrs doing just comes undone.

I admit Ive spoiled Kyle, and have brought some of this crap on myself, because Ive bailed him out of things, financially. I wont do it anymore. And neither is my family. I truly felt when he left for BC he had changed and grown up. Now he's afraid of to leave and this is why he's postponing it.

I'm just overwhelmed at the daily BS that goes on his life. I have to cut that umblical chord and let him go. This is one reason just after he was 3 yrs old I KNEW I didnt want anymore children. Its hard being a single parent. I wouldnt raise another child today. My husband and I agree. No can do.

My mom says when Kyle turns 30 he realize just what Ive done for him and thats when I MIGHT see the appreciation come from him. Gawd that long mom?

anyway, just me venting this morning and I know I can always do that in here. Thank you for listening!! And for your input!!!

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everything happens for a reason...