Originally Posted by
AngelsBreath 
hi i have been wondering about my attidude,and sometimes disturbed by it.since i graduated college,i have been hearing a lot about this attitude that i am not sure of.
i have a big problem with authority and criticism,at work,i take hard criticisms as personal attack,i know this is unprofessional but i just cant help it,
whenever someone bitch at me at home,i bitch back,i cant control my temper,i always automatically think of ways to get around a remark,i never let people win an arguement even if it progresses into a fight.i hate this feeling,this attitude has just developed when i finished school,i was a cool kid who doesnt take everything seriously,but now everything seems to be serious to me.i know and i think it is stupid to dismiss constructive criticisms,but i really get angry and most of the time i take it personal.i get hurt easily.
Well you realize that you have problems, thats good. But yet you still engage in those behaviors. I think you lack self control in these types of situations.
here are some tips:
0. this is a big one, a philosophical one. everything you know...I mean EVERYTRHING is a BELIEF... yes a belief. and at anytime, due to the mighty forces of the unvierse can be the wrong belief.
you believe that professional criticisms is a personal attack. break down this belief.
Heres the common formula of a situation.
Antecedent....Behavior....Consenquence....
in your case, A= Professional criticism, B= personal attack and c= feeling like crap.
well im sure you can figure out by yourself your real feelings.
so follow theese steps it might help.
1. device a behavior you would like to be in ( example: acceptance of professional criticism, not personal attack menality)
2. vision yourself in this situation over and over again...... rehearse in your mind the desired behavior until it becomes remembered.
3. practice
4. practice
5. when you are in that situation in real life.... recall your plan for your new behavior
6. if you execute this behavior even if you fake it celebrate!!! it the start of forming the desired behavior.
Im a behavior specialist in trainning.... i have worked with autistic children for well over 4 years and have use the basic 'ABC' in conjuction with Applied Behavior Analysis.