Originally Posted by MisINdpndT
(but he says when i moan or when im about to cum i tell him and that makes him go)
I've had the same thing happen. Not all the time, but it has and it is a bummer. I've had that "I'm gonna cum soon, don't stop." and i'm like "Huh?" *splort*! "Damn it!"
Not a "good" orgasm of course. But there's times when she's been ready to blow and I just smile and let her blow her top. And then later I take care of me at my own pace.
You guys are young (I think), it gets more comfortable with age as you become more comfortable and AWARE of what you do/feel. If he's REALLY preoccupied with wondering "will I make it this time?", he'll have difficulties. Nervousness in guys translates to premature, or take forever to come. I'm sure some women would enjoy the second but it can be frustrating to the guy. It's not a mutual satisfaction and that's always an important thing. BOTH of you should enjoy what you do. Of course there's going to be times you don't get off but it should still be fun. If it doesn't work intercourse-wise, (some women NEVER get off that way) then try other things. Oral, fingers, toys, etc. Don't walk away NOT feeling good if you know you can. If you personally can't get off by yourself, don't expect him to.
Perhaps be verbal but don't tell him you're going to cum until it happens. It's great hearing "I'm coming!" as opposed to "I'm going to come soon.." and never having it happen. He shouldn't be focused on having "simultaneous orgasms" either. It's difficult to time them just right and they're not going to change the world if you do. Sure, it's fun to get off at the same time, but sex is sex and as long as you both get off, it shouldn't matter.
So try some of those things I recommended. Also one other thing is if he's getting close to orgasm, if he (or you) pulls it out and squeezes the base of where the head and shaft meet and squeeze from the topside to underneath, that usually hits a nerve that deadens the sensation to orgasm. THere is a scientific term for that but I can't remember. It's been documented.
For fun though I recommend him giving you more oral prior to sex. I wouldn't give it to him because that will most likely just get him closer to orgasm before sex and you'll lose extra minutes.
Or just try out those condoms. A couple bucks to try isn't so bad.