Lol, I was going to mention that you might think this is antialiasing since you're a member of pixelation *snicker* Welcome back!

The next step for you would be going to a professional and finding out if it's really depression that you suffer, or just anxiety. It can be caused by physical and psychological things, and there are certain ways to treat both, just so you know a little about it.

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If you stare at a white pixel long enough, you notice the throbbing red, green, and blue elements that create it.

If you stare at a fuzzy blanket long enough with your eye so close it goes out of focus, just look at the sparkles; you can see it on the cellular level.