I'm glad you placed this first, so let's first talk about what it is and what it means to be nervous..

Simply put, nervousness is an internal conflict that exists between a person's conscious reality and unconscious reality.. this contradiction creates stress as both senses of reality clash and are found in conflict with eachother.. the result, nervousness

I like to use the lie-detection example to illustrate this.. The challenge is simple.. you can put your hand in a bag and grab either a white or black ball.. only YOU know what color you have in your hand.. Then, you are hooked up to a polygraph test and interrogated by an expert.. (NSA training).. The objective is to be able to lie through the test & interrogation..

It's impossible to consciously control the microsignals your body produces, because they are beyond conscious control.. they are all a product of the unconscious.. (hence the beauty of the polygraph test).. BUT! all you need to do is convince yourself that the ball is the opposite color "the one you have to lie about".. and thus, your unconscious reality is consistent with your conscious reality.. they are no longer in conflict, not only is there no nervousness, there are no microsignals that will give the agent away..

Now, no more examples.. How does this apply to you?

Simple.. your unconscious is very aware of your internal reality.. you meet someone you like.. and now you're consciously trying to present yourself in your best light.. (confident, quality, value, funny, interesting, fun).. that's when your conscious mind begings to question itself, unable to validate what it wants to project, it starts to consciously fake it, creative inconsistency, creating nervousness..

So, the first thing I want you to do, on this thread, on this forum.. is ask yourself some questions.. and post up the answers.. Meaningful/full/deep answers..

- We've all had embarassing moments in our life, while you're thinking through many of those times, i'm sure a couple of them stand out more than others. What are some of those times? How did they make you feel?

- We've all faced challenged in our lives, we face them every day. Some are large, others are small. What are some of the challanges that you've faced in your life? What was going through your mind as you were faced with them for the first time? How was it like to get through them? How did you feel afterwards?

- I'm sure there've been times where you've felt great about yourself. Maybe it was something you did or said, or maybe it was something that happened. Whatever it was, when you think back to those moments, what were they? How did your body feel like? How was your breathing different? What emotions were going through your head? How did it feel like to feel great about yourself for that moment?

- Every person is unique. Although we're all similar to some degree or another, we have traits, characteristics, and qualities about us that compose our own unique identity. I'm sure you can think of some of those qualities in you. Some people can write an entire book, others are more modest. As you think about all the unique qualities you have, make a list of the 5 best qualities you have that define you as a person. Take a moment to think about them and write them all down. How do they all tie in together? Can you think of moments where you've seen them in action? What were some of those moments?

- Lastly, we all want something, we all have goals. Can you think right now, about what you want? What do you want from life? What do you want from other people? What do you want from your future? 1 year from now? 5 years from now? 10 years from now? While you're thinking about that, ask yourself, what do you want from yourself? What qualities in you do you want to bring out from within? What do you want to be able to do? Before you change and improve yourself, you have to know what you want to be able to do. What is that?

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If you can't stop the Wind, then you can't stop the Storm.