Originally Posted by
bleedingheart7 
It hurts. It really hurts. I love him so much. It's so painful waking up each day and knowing everything has changed. My father's gone, why him too? I even find it so hard to sleep because I'm always crying. I wish I would die now so I won't feel this pain ever again.
I know there is nothing I can say that will make this pain go away.
You are feeling hurt because the person you love and loved for a long time (For as long as you can remember) abandoned you. You're feeling hurt, hurt especially because you have already lost someone dear and very close to you who you love and you can't bear the thought of loosing another close person as well. But then suddenly you realize that the second loss has already occured. Did it already happen? How quickly did it occur? It flashed right before your eyes. You suddenly realize, you can't stop the time, you can't go back to the past to fix what has happened. If only you could everything would be right, everything would be so much better. But the more you think about it, the more you realize that you can't. It has already happened.
What can you do now? Now that you are in this limbo. After having suffered these two incredible losses in your life, the ones the shook your entire foundation and meaning in life. What would you like to do? Would you like to feel better? Slowly find your way back to happiness and make your world a happier place to live in than it is now? Would you like to see the pain go away? There's only one road that can lead to that place at this stage unfortunately. That road is acceptance. Acceptance of what has happened. Acceptance and release. You can't continue to be attached to the thought of the two of you together. You need to find a way to release yourself from that attachment. Set yourself free of the dreams you've set out for yourself with him, set yourself free of your plans with him for the future. At this point in time you future is an open book with many yet unwritten pages. A world of opportunity and posibility. Do you deserve to be with someone who's cheated on you even though you had so much love for him? Absolutely not. Do you deserve a better opportunity and real happiness in life? Yes, yes and yes. Let these thoughts saturate your mind. Let them envelope you. Let them give you consolation in your moments of darkness.