he refused to go down on me cuz he thinks its gross and he doesnt like when I drip cum or anything gritty sex- related that normal males would instincly love.

Doesn't having sex with neutral make it, ...passionless? Emotionless? Unattractive? Dull? Boring? Doesn't it make you wonder why you are doing this at that point in time? And if yes, then what drove you to it? Boredom? The conveniece? Unattracive sex good because it's convenient?