Thanks everybody for all your advise. I felt so stupid to ever think that maybe I can forgive him and be with him. It's just that my mind was so messed up, I can't think straight, I felt so miserable. I'm not yet ok, but reading all your responses made me feel a little better. He still keeps on leaving me messages saying he still loves me so much but I only get angrier each day. I will never forgive him for cheating on me.

Now I'm really trying my best to move on, keep myself busy and not feel so depressed. But since my father's death I always feel an intense pain in my chest sometimes making it so hard for me to breathe. I went to see a doctor and he said that I have a heart problem, a swelling in cardiac blah blah..I was like, huh? Oh.. okay.. I don't want to think about it so much because I don't want to make my condition worse. I'm really trying my best not to think about these problems that keep on coming in my life. The pain is still here, but I hope and I pray that it will eventually go away. To Mishanya, thank you for all the things you said about acceptance and release.. I really appreciate them. Again, to all, thanks a lot.