WoW, Bleedingheart...

After reading your post, I have only 2 things to tell you about this.

The first one is that you need to love yourself a little more. If that s.o.b. got married with someone else, OK, that's the end of that. Period. He is not the man for you and —further— you don't have to become someone else's lover or rebound. You deserve your own loving husband.

About your father, well... My sympathy.

In general, I think you are feeling as lost as you have sounded here because you have lost two very important things in your life. Soon, when the pain is over, you need to think about this:

Now that you are free from your family and that s.o.b. (sorry, but I can't really think in another term for him), think about what are you going to use your freedom for now.

If you don't make these decisions by yourself, you will end up tying up yourself to a man instead.

Hope this helps.

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