I'm not saying that EVERYONE is like that. It's just so easy to regress into that mode for our own safety. Why take a chance for someone else if you can be safe and sound looking out for number one? Of course I mean that sarcastically but that's how it always seems to be for most people.

In alot of ways, I felt I was pretty dumb when it came to street/school savvy. I questioned 'why' someone was treating me in a certain way rather than just stand up and do something about it. Even though I was being hurt, I didn't want to bring hurt to anyone else. I figured i'd turn the other cheek and take it up the rear. And I did for along time. Some days I still do in the metaphorical sense. I'm still learning.

But if you think I had it bad, there was another kid I saw that had it worse. And he either accepted it or was ignorent of the fact. Let me explain: You all know that I can type and throw in some personality/humor and such. Well, this guy was the equivilent of me minus all the good social aspects and some general attractiveness as well. Just looked dorky and was pretty robotic in conversation. Anyway, got picked on alot and just plain ignored. He tried to be friends with me and I TRIED but it just didn't work. I couldn't enjoy being around this guy. I could NOT get a conversation going ever. We'd just sit there waiting for a piece of skylab or something to fall to talk about. Seriously, i'd be like "Um..so what do you think of dysentary? Pretty fun affliction to have right?" (I mean, I could seriously say that just to instigate SOME response! I'd be happy with a "what the hell are you talking about? Dying from the runs is fun!?") But no, i'd get a "Yeah, I guess so...." "..." "..." Nada. Zilch. No social interaction with this guy. The most excitement would be riding our bikes somewhere and him going "Um..let's ride to that next hill..." and that would be it. So I rather quickly made myself disappear. (hard to do since he lived near me/shared the same bus)

So in HS, my senior year, i'd run into him in the halls, give a nod or something. SOMEHOW, he found himself in the popular kids group. And it WASN'T because he was popular! He was their TOOL. It was terrible. They drug him around like a dog. They said that he was their "mascot". F'ing right. More like "Whipping boy". The thing is either this guy enjoyed being "accepted" into this group so much or was ignorent of the fact, he acted happy. But inside I could see at times he was breaking down. I remember one time in the hall packing up to get the bus home, some guys were talking to him and laughing and he turned and walked away and just SLUGGED a locker as hard as he could. Caused a moment of silence as he walked past and I could see the anger in his eyes. I didn't know what to say/do and then he was gone.

But the absolute WORST thing that happened to him was this: When the yearbook came around. Our school did the chicken$hit idea to put "most popular/best " ", thing in the back of the yearbook. You know, most popular guy/girl/couple. Best dresser/funniest, Cutest guy/girl, Best car. etc. Basically a popularity cop-out for the ones who know where they already stand. If you're in the back of the book, you're set. If not, you're just a blip on the radar so to say.

ANYWAY, in a bunch of the photos for popular this and that, this kid was in them. DELIBERATELY! He was between the cutest couple, and the best personality boy and girl. If you didn't already guess, the popular people had access to the yearbook staff. It was one massive cruel joke against HIM. EVERYONE knew it when they saw it that it wasn't a compliment, it was an insult. And he didn't f'king deserve any of it. He put up with being their lap dog and they went and made everyone know that that's what they saw him as. It was a cruel, cold and heartless thing to do. Sure, they justify it as "He was our buddy, we wanted him to feel special." BULL$HIT! They knew what they did. It would be the same thing as taking a kid with no legs and letting him be on the high jump team, but telling him it's because he's great at jumping.

Like I said. HS is cutthroat. It always will be no matter what kind of town. You're either a big fish or a feeder fish. And maybe if you're lucky, people don't even know your in the pond at all...

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3 out of 2 people have problems with fractions.