This is gunna be quite a long post as I want to be as detailed as possible so you can understand what I am going through.
I am 37 yr old male from the uk and 10 yrs ago one of my friends moved in ( she is 35. Love blossomed between us and we have 3 lovely children, then 2 yrs ago she called it a day as the way I dealt with finances caused us to get into debt. We still live in the same house and she is saying I am her best friend and that she couldnt live without me. For the last yr I have cleared us of all debt and have been working hard to provide for the family while she sits at home. She plays a game called world of warcraft all day and I dont stop her, I love her to pieces with all my heart and would do anything for her. If her pc breaks then I fix it etc etc. She never works and I dont mind as her being here makes me feel alive.
Recently she has developed an interst with a guy 11 yrs younger (24) from sweden online thro the game she plays and she knows I am hurting but she says I am the front runner in all of this, but dont know what she means.
They are meeting this weekend to see if anything sparks tho moving away is not on the agenda so they will be having a long distance relationship.
Upto a day or so ago me and my ex still shared passionate kisses and spontanious sex, we hugged and were like a couple in some ways tho sleeping in different rooms.. I am just an emotional wreck atm and dont know what to do, I love her soo much but kinda feel used atm as 10 mins ago when we hugged she said I was smothering her so I walked away and typed this.. I really hope you can help me in someway, especially with what she means by a front runner as she has not ruled out that we will not get together again...

Help me please