Originally Posted by
vashti 
Actually, I DO support "no sex before marriage" for people who find it meaningful. I support any way of elevating basic human functions to something more lofty, and I don't see that people who opt to wait should be penalized for it.
This does not mean I feel everyone should be virgins when they marry, though... just the people who find it meaningful.
Hold up.., Mish.., wait a second.., I think you might be giving Vash more heat than she really deserves.. common.., take a second and listen to what she's saying.., I think you might have missed.., skipped over.., or misunderstood what she's trying to say..
She's not saying EVERYONE should be virgins before marriage.., or that IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.., blah blah.., that's not what she's saying at all..
She's just saying.., that for the people who find it meaningful or important.., either for some religious reason or some personal reason.., they should feel free to be virgins.., without being pressured to break their beliefs..
I know we can all agree that that's not exactly a bad thing.., they should be no more forced to abandon their beliefs than say a Christian.., or a Republican.., despite how different they are to others.., or how wrong or right they may be.., everyone is entitled to their beliefs.., and it's not much to ask to afford them a very minimal level of respect.., and allow them to hold those beliefs.., without being pressured to change or conform to anything that contradicts those beliefs..
Like we said.., just because they believe something that we don't feel is right.. doesn't give us some divine right to impose our view on them.., or force them or pressure them to change.. reguardless of how right or wrong either party is.., there has to be some respect for personal choice.. that's not too much to ask for.. But also.., just because they believe it.., doesn't mean that anyone else has to accept it or go along with it..
What I hate the most is when people come into the subway early in the morning and ask me.. "have you accepted the lord? do you have a personal relationship with the lord?" (no! I don't.., I just finished with Santa Clause.., rejected the belief that i'm part of the chosen people.., realized that it was my parents who put money under my pillow all those years when I lost a tooth.., and i'm more convinced that there is a complex force that controls and holds power over the universe.. than a man in the sky who is constantly watching us and knocking up virgins with a flower and who gives his son a hispanic name only to let him die by at his 30's.. so unless you have any candy.., i'm not interested)
Similarly.., if someone like that just comes into your life.., nobody is telling you to accept them.., there's no shame in letting them know that you don't agree with their belief in neglecting her own needs.., aswell as yours.. for whatever reason she deems noble.., You can reject her and let her go.., but there's no reason for you to try and pressure her to change..
The same way it's disrespectful for her to try and force you to accept a belief you don't agree with.., it's equally disrespectful for you to try and pressure her to change and conform to your belief.. I think that's the meat of Vash's argument..
And like we've said.., there are guys who are not only "ok" with it.., but actually actively look for women who hold these beliefs.., so in time.., hopefully.., she'll find such a guy.. But that's her problem.., not yours.., and no reason to make it your problem.., just skip.., next.,. and end of story.., no big deal.. no need to get caught up in all the technicalities and parenting or philosophical issues..
Best,
GrkScorp