Firstly I can't beleive I'm actually doing this on a forum but I'm prepared to check every angle to achieve the result. Briefly my wife and I have been married for seventeen years and I have just discovered she has been having a relationship with a work collegue that is about 3 months old. Going to confront him, before I had a chance, he told his family he had met someone and was leaving them for her. His marriage had not been happy for a while and my wife had only started working around this guy since January. Our own relationship had been great, both committed with a now 15 yr old son, I supported my wife's career change but didn't like the reputation of the said career but was constantly reassured inwardly that my wife was not one to stray. My wife and this man are now staying at a mutual friends. I have asked her to come home but did not beg, but she said she needed time because she was so confused, time she spent with him. I spoke with me wife this evening and she indicated that she may find in a few months she may have made a mistake, the biggest one of her life. She also agreed with my suggestion that had the other guy not left his wife for mine, there would have been less of a chance that she would have walked out on me. I have been talking calmly to her, repeating my unfading love for her and the fact that with counciling, some time and support for each other we could make this incident a blip in a long and happy life. I beleive she is feeling guilty of giving up on this other guy and what other people may think if she comes home after such a short time. The non support from her blood family has also set her mind in an I'll show em frame. I am determined to get her back cause I love her, but the stress and constant mind wracking is taking its toll and I'm not sure how long I can keep it going before being resigned. If that happens I think it will be irreversable. Any hints, tips, big stupid shows of affection will all be gratefully recieved to achieve my goal of saving my marriage- as my son said this family is not broken it is merely compromised!