Originally Posted by
Down not Out 
Any hints, tips, big stupid shows of affection will all be gratefully recieved to achieve my goal of saving my marriage- as my son said this family is not broken it is merely compromised!
Yes, you need to learn about affairs, and yesterday. Will Harley (marriagebuilders.com) has a great site.
You also need to get into counselling. For yourself & your son if your wife won't go. Even if she comes back, don't think for a second that solves everything. As a police officer (?) you have access to counselling.
Tough times. Good luck.